Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize