he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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