You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
