Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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