On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
