She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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