Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry statgirl hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

Fav 26 1572 6311
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical

Fav 18 9910 1135
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out

Fav 13 9111 1496
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico

Fav 28 3829 1279
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?

Fav 17 2720 1336
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.

Fav 13 1605 1053
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.

(637): View more from

We made popcorn last night. So it's both

Fav 2 746 1378
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni

Fav 2 465 226
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list

Fav 0 51 42
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT