I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
