is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You need Xanax blowdarts
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
