I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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