He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
