Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize