Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
