so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
