So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I looked at my own cervix.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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