Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
