i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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