i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
