she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
