Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
