I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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