You're my little dorito
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
