I must be too annoying 4 u.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i now understand why vodka
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I touched a dick in church today
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
