im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we're making bets on your personal life
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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