Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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