Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He shit in the fireplace
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
