man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
