Got a toothbrush?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize