I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
