Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize