Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
