i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
