Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
