My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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