Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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