Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
