Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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