ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
