This house was built for laser tag.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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