Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
