I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
