I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
