I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hippo gnu deer
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
