dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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