whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
