You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
