Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Girls should come with a carfax report
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
