i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
