Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Fuck appropriateness.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
