david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
