Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
