as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
