You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
