i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
